The Actual Oscars are Dumb

The 1st Less Dumb Academy Awards, presented by this blogger, honored the best films of 20151 and took place on February 29, 2016 in the blogger’s studio apartment, starting at 9:00 EST, probably. During the ceremony, the blogger presented Less Dumb Academy Awards (commonly referred to as Less Dumb Oscars) in 17 less dumb categories. The ceremony was not televised. Nobody hosted the show.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E., Crimson Peak, and Star Wars: The Force Awakens each won three awards, with the The Man from U.N.C.L.E. earning the Most Delightful Picture honor. Other winners include Brooklyn, Ex Machina, and Jupiter Ascending with two, and Dope, Macbeth, and Testament of Youth each with one. With Nielsen not reporting, the ceremony was both the lowest and highest-rated Less Dumb Academy Awards of all time.

Winners and nominees


The nominees for the 1st Less Dumb Academy Awards were announced on February 29, 2016, between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. EST, in this blogger’s head. Star Wars: The Force Awakens received the most nominations with eleven total, with Ex Machina and the Man from U.N.C.L.E. tying second with seven.

The winners were announced during the publishing of this blog post on the same day.

Awards

Winners are listed first, highlighted in boldface, and indicated with a double dagger (‡).

Most Delightful Picture

  • The Man from U.N.C.L.E. 
    • Crimson Peak
    • Ex Machina
    • Mad Max: Fury Road
    • Magic Mike XXL
    • Star Wars: The Force Awakens
    • The Martian
    • What We Do in the Shadows

Most Gross Sob Inducing Picture

  • Testament of Youth 
    • Brooklyn
    • Kumiko the Treasure Hunter
    • The Martian

Most Computer Science Feels Inspiring Picture

  • Ex Machina 
    • Avengers: Age of Ultron
    • Blackhat
    • Spectre
    • Steve Jobs
    • Terminator Genisys

Best Reboot/Remake/Sequel

  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens 
    • Mad Max: Fury Road
    • Magic Mike XXL
    • Terminator Genisys
    • The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

Best Aesthetic

  • Oh shit, it’s a tie: Crimson Peak  and Macbeth 
    • Dope
    • Far from the Madding Crowd
    • Jupiter Ascending
    • Mad Max: Fury Road
    • What We Do in the Shadows

Best Banter

  • Ex Machina 
    • Star Wars: The Force Awakens
    • The Martian
    • What We Do in the Shadows

Hottest Actor in a Leading or Supporting Role

  • Tom Hiddleston, Crimson Peak 
    • Tom Hardy, Legend
    • Michael Fassbender, Macbeth
    • Oscar Isaac, Star Wars: The Force Awakens
    • Henry Cavill, The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

Hottest Actress in a Leading or Supporting Role

  • Zoe Kravitz, Dope 
    • Kristen Stewart, American Ultra
    • Elizabeth Olsen, Avengers: Age of Ultron
    • Sonoya Mizuno, Ex Machina
    • Lea Seydoux, Spectre

Hottest Domhnall Gleeson

  • Domhnall Gleeson, Brooklyn 
    • Domhnall Gleeson, Ex Machina
    • Domhnall Gleeson, Star Wars: The Force Awakens
    • Domhnall Gleeson, The Revenant 2

Most Endearing Actor in a Supporting Role

  • Charlie Hunnam, Crimson Peak 
    • Daniel Kaluuya, Sicario
    • Ben Whishaw, Spectre

Most Endearing Ensemble Cast

  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens 
    • Ex Machina
    • Testament of Youth
    • The Man from U.N.C.L.E.
    • The Martian
    • What We Do in the Shadows

Best Face

  • Saoirse Ronan, Brooklyn 
    • Rooney Mara, Carol
    • Rinko Kikuchi, Kumiko the Treasure Hunter

Best Daniel Pemberton Score

  • Daniel Pemberton, The Man from U.N.C.L.E. 
    • Daniel Pemberton, Steve Jobs

Best Ship

  • Napoleon Solo/Ilya Kuryakin, The Man from U.N.C.L.E. 
    • Kate Macer/Alejandro Gillick, Sicario
    • Poe Dameron/Finn, Star Wars: The Force Awakens
    • Finn/Rey, Star Wars: The Force Awakens
    • Rey/Kylo Ren, Star Wars: The Force Awakens
    • (Steve Jobs/Steve Wozniak, Steve Jobs)

Hottest Character Name

  • Poe Dameron, Star Wars: The Force Awakens 
    • Therese Belivet, Carol
    • Kylo Ren, Star Wars: The Force Awakens
    • Napoleon Solo, The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

Most Delightfully Ludicrous Character Name

  • Chicanery Night, Jupiter Ascending 
    • Titus Abrasax, Jupiter Ascending
    • Rictus Erectus, Mad Max: Fury Road
    • Toast the Knowing, Mad Max: Fury Road
    • Big Dick Richie, Magic Mike XXL

Most Most

  • Eddie Redmayne, Jupiter Ascending 
    • Joe Manganiello, Magic Mike XXL
    • Oscar Isaac, Ex Machina

1. Of the 37 films of 2015 that the blogger has actually watched, with one exception in a single category; sorry Bridge of SpiesRoom, The Hateful Eight, The Revenant, etc., but let’s be real, they probably wouldn’t have been up for any of these awards anyway. On the other hand, What We Do in the Shadows and Kumiko the Treasure Hunter might actually by 2014 movies, but their American theatrical release was in 2015, so…seems legit?  ^
2. Here is the aforementioned exception, and it’s true that we can’t really know that Domhnall Gleeson in Brooklyn is hotter than Domhnall Gleeson in The Revenant, so it’s possible that Domhnall Gleeson is getting robbed here. ^

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